I used to live by the number on the scale. That number determined my worth. Once I saw it staring up at me from the bathroom floor, I carried it around with me. I could feel it pressing down on my stomach, stretched out on my thighs, wrapped around my waist, clutching my calves. It flashed in my consciousness at the most random parts of my day. Sitting in English class, trying to decode The Sound and the Fury. Walking through the hallways of my high school, made claustrophobic with rushing bodies. Scrolling through Instagram on my phone and Tumblr on my computer. Laying in bed at home, waiting for the deep waves of sleep to wash over me.
I have been anticipating writing this post for a long time. I love reading – it is definitely my favorite pastime. Spellbinding storytelling speaks directly to my soul, emerging me in a new world – whether it be a new culture, time period, or state of mind.
In 2015, I read a total of 51 books. Broken down, that’s:
7 short story collections
As a reader, I tend to gravitate towards books that offer a cultural emphasis. As a history nerd, I enjoy learning about different countries, as well as gain more knowledge concerning certain eras. Memoirs are also fascinating to me. As you read through this list, this personal taste of mine is well represented through the books I have chosen as my favorites. Alas, we all have different preferences when it comes to the books we chose to find ourselves lost in. I just wanted to share my most though-provoking, relatable, entertaining, and intriguing reads this past year.
I am excited (and relieved) to say that I’m home again, and this time it’s for the amazing period of 5 weeks for my winter break.
I can’t believe that my first semester of college is over… that’s so crazy.
I keep apologizing for this, so I know it’s getting old, but I’m so sorry for not keeping this blog and my recovery IG updated. It’s something that honestly makes me feel guilty, since I do care about you guys. Your support means a lot to me. But life gets crazy. I feel like pretty much everyday now is crammed with classes, doing homework/studying for the classes, socializing with friends, and then when I’m not busy with one of those things, I just want to lay in bed and zone out with Netflix and Tumblr. Not a good excuse, I know. But I’m human.
So, how I am feeling? I’m feeling… okay.
Long time, no blog.
Where am I in recovery? That’s a good question.
Back when I was deep in the grips of my eating disorder, and sometimes even know, I was under the impression that I had to be at a certain weight in order to be happy. That life would magically become vastly improved once I stepped on the scale and saw that number that I had slaved and obsessed over.